The irony of this blog post coming out right after the one talking about trying to lose weight is not lost on me, but I can’t help it: I’ve been obsessed with Sausage and Egg McMuffins over the past few months.
This represents a maturation of taste in two different ways: for one, I’ve never liked english muffins, and for two, I’ve never really liked eggs prepared any way other than scrambled.
In the first case, I think it goes back to me being a pickier eater in childhood. While I am now willing and excited to try anything (twice!), I never actually gave english muffins a shot. As a person born and raised in the US South, I was a proud biscuit (as in the scone-like pastry, not the sugary sweet) eater. I once took a single bite from a McMuffin decades ago and swore them off forever. I think, though, I wasn’t really willing to give them a shot.
Eggs, on the other hand, I just haven’t been a fan of traditionally. I tried a fried egg my Dad made when I was younger, but the taste and texture grossed me out. But even with scrambled egg, I often found that I didn’t like them when paired with other fooods. I just was never an egg guy.
But, every time I have a major surgery I wake up with my tastebuds being completely different (I know it’s weird, I know it sounds crazy, but my family will contest that it’s a thing for me). And this time, eggs are apparently one of the foods that I’ve picked up.
Which brings me to the McMuffin. A couple months ago McDonald’s accidentally gave my wife the wrong order. Left with a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, and not wanting to let food go to waste, I decided to suck it up and give it a try.
The minute it hit my lips the pleasure center in my brain lit up like a christmas tree.
The taste in my mouth was indescribable. The egg was creamy and buttery, the sausage had the perfect blend of spices, and the cheese was gooey and decadent.
Since then, I’ve had a sausage and egg mcmuffin two or three times a week. You might think that eating like that conflicts with my weight loss goals, but I’ve been able to make it a part of my balanced diet. They’re 480 calories, but I tend to eat smaller, healthier meals throughout the day to offset them. Not to mention that it’s relatively nutritious, especially in terms of protein.
As an engineer and a somewhat experimental person, this of course set off an obsession of trying to make my own version at home (ideally for cheaper than what I pay at McDonald’s).
Unfortunately, despite all my best attempts, my homemade McMuffins just haven’t been the same. The muffin part is the easiest to solve. Nearly any store bought english muffin is adequate. The other ingredients, however, have been the most difficult to match.
For one, I can’t find the right sausage. The sausage I buy that comes in a tube is too… sausagey. Too much sage, if anything. And it’s hard to get it to come out in a consistent size and shape that fits neatly on the muffin. I’ve tried the pre-portioned patties, and the frozen stuff, and still nothing quite matches what I’m looking for.
I watched a million tutorials online about how to make your own “round egg” at home. I’ve mastered the technique with an egg mold, some butter-flavored cooking spray, and then adding water on the outside of the ring and covering with a lid to steam the top of the egg so it cooks consistently. My eggs come out looking perfect. And then you take a bite and… sadness. They are rubbery. They are tasteless. They are not creamy. They are not buttery. This, too, alludes me.
I feel like the cheese is an easier problem to solve. The pack I bought just does not melt the same, and is nowhere as rich as the ones to be found on the real sandwich, but I cheaped out. I think if I got a better cheese, maybe one from Borden’s or Tillamook, instead of the ultra-processed grocery store brand, I would have better luck.
That covers the fully manual process, but what about cheating and using the Jimmy Dean’s frozen ones? I’ve given them a go and they’re alright. They certainly taste better than the ones I’ve tried assembling from scratch, but the sausage in it tastes completely wrong. It’s less pork-ish and more mystery-meat-ish.
It’s worth saying too that I’ve tried other fast food restaraunts’ versions, with similarly disappointing results. The Starbucks version actually tastes identical to the Jimmy Dean’s version. Kinda makes you wonder.
In any case, the “real” McMuffin is realtively affordable, and is only ever 5 minutes away, so there’s not a ton of incentive to find an alternative.
I’m sure I will soon grow tired of them, as I do nearly all my food obsessions. I often find something I love, eat it way too often for weeks in a row, and then get to where they no longer spark the same joy they once did. That’s just how my brain works. For now, though, I’m going to enjoy them while I can.
Even typing this now, I can’t wait until it’s tomorrow morning so I can have another Sausage and Egg McMuffin. If only McDonald’s still served breakfast all day! Although on second thought, it’s probably best that they don’t.